I'm so torn. I love university. I'm at my best and happiest when I'm here. As cliche as it is, there are always things to do, places to go, people to meet. That shrouded emptiness inside my heads is replaced with constant buzzing- creating and rearranging mental agendas, schedules, priorities. To a slightly greater degree, I feel significant.
But then there's the hunger.
I don't get hungry at home, ever. It's because I'm a useless being, just a thing made up of billions and billions of atoms. I exist, but I don't live and therefore I'm not hungry.
Now, I eat. far. too. much.
The university ever so kindly provides the nutritional information for all the shit I cram into my body, so that I can know precisely how uncontrollably wretched my self control is.
2 small peaches- 100 calories
1 brown pear- 55 calories
1 garden petita- 175
cinnamon oatmeal bar- 150
caramel macciato- 120
salad- 60 (??) its hard to know for sure this one.
spanikopita casserol- 440
^ just about shat myself when I saw this. ONE tiny square made up of some flakey pastry shit and with spinach and cheese filling. Deceptive son of a bitch. Lesson learnt. Never touching anything from the vegetarian section again unless I KNOW the nutritional facts coming in.
lemon square- 200
total: 1300
bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be. There's always room for improvement. Truthfully, aside from eating I've been fairly happy with myself. I think that my mindset is definitely improving and I know I can push myself to do better. I'll post again tomorrow!
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